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much ado about nothing
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
there are only so many entries i can begin with an apology. i meant to write, i really did. i have been nibbling around the crust of life, prim and proper, one pinky extended outward. i owe most of my outings to a parade of first dates, the type when there is the clatter of silverware and every time someone opens their mouth the sound of uncomfortable rustling fabric comes spilling out. i believe i am beginning to become quite adept at navigating the awkward. the universal signal of food in the teeth, the soft, slow spreading grin and gentle eyes in between words compacted together to fill the silence. i've mastered stirring the drink and the lean-in. sometimes i am a million miles away, buoyed only by the faint twinkle of champagne bubbles glowing in the glass; others, clinging to a shipwreck moment. i wish i still had a vocabulary for such things. the cleft hearted pitter patter of possibilities, the white knuckled do i or don't i kiss as the velvet curtains shuffle closed on the evening. my phone overflows with alphabetized dinners and drinks. most of them i have forgotten. it's been interesting, an adjective i fall upon when nothing else rises to the frothy surface. some day i might collect these moments, spread them out in the late summer moonlight until they become nouns, adjectives, and verbs all at once. for now the static will suffice. |
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Keeper of Bees
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